Toddler Behaviour: Taming Toddler Tantrums

Most parents have experienced their toddler's challenging behaviour at some point whether it's the "terrible twos" or for that matter, threes, fours or more. Watching your child scream, kick or throw himself to the ground in exasperation is never easy, yet as a parent, what's important, is being able to look beyond the red-faced anger and recognise what your child is actually trying to communicate.

Many young children throw tantrums when they are experiencing a range of emotions such as anger, fear, sadness, frustration and jealousy. Regardless of your child’s motivation, it is important for parents to help their children understand that tantrums and associated behaviours such as biting, pinching and hair-pulling are not always acceptable and that there are better ways to express their feelings.

Ways to Manage Toddler Behavior:

• Use a gentle yet firm and fast response. When your child acts aggressively, unclamp your child’s hand or mouth, and say something like “no hurting”. Then, temporarily remove them from the situation, or away from the stimulus. It may take a few repetitions for children to understand that what they are doing is not allowed.
• Consider the triggers. Sometimes children act aggressively because they are bored or seeking attention. If parents are able to recognize this then they may be able to target why the behaviour is occurring and deal with it accordingly.
• Use positive reinforcement. Always praise your child’s good behaviour and use resources like the Tickets - a Tool to tame Behaviour by Quirky Kid
• Use feeling words. By assigning words to your child’s feelings or emotive states, they will eventually learn to identify how they are feeling themselves, by using such words. Although this may take a long time especially if your child is very young, eventually your child will be able to use these words to both describe and take control of her own feelings without resorting to tantrums or violence.
• Be Consistent. It is important not to give in to whatever your child was wanting which triggered the tantrum.