Sexting and Sending Nudes: A Parent Guide

How to talk with your teenager

Begin before there is a crisis

Use ordinary moments, such as a storyline, news item or school discussion, to ask what young people see online and how they decide what is respectful. Keep the conversation short enough to continue another day. The goal is not one perfect talk but an ongoing pattern of communication.

Make your safety message explicit

Tell your teenager: “If anything sexual happens online and you feel worried, you can come to me. I will help you first.” A young person needs to know that asking for help will not automatically lead to blame, public confrontation or permanent loss of every device.

Discuss realistic scenarios

• What could you say if someone keeps asking for an image?
• How would you respond if an unwanted nude appeared in a group chat?
• Who are three trusted adults you could contact?
• How can you leave a conversation, report an account or block contact?
• What would you do if someone threatened to share an image?

Useful responses can be simple: “No”, “Do not ask me again”, leaving the chat or contacting an adult. A young person never owes someone sexual content because they are dating, have received an image or previously said yes.

Teach privacy without promising control

Privacy settings, disappearing messages and account security can reduce some risks, but they cannot make an intimate image completely controllable. A recipient can record a screen, use another device or share material outside the original platform. Encourage strong passwords, multi-factor authentication and careful contact settings, while keeping the central message on consent and help-seeking.

What Australian law means for families

Australian laws concerning sexualised images of people under 18 are complex. Commonwealth, state and territory laws can apply, and some jurisdictions have exceptions or safeguards for certain similar-age situations. Creating, requesting, possessing or sharing a sexualised image of a person under 18 can place a young person at risk of criminal consequences, even when the people involved are close in age or initially agreed.

Do not assume that agreement between teenagers makes creating or keeping an image lawful. Do not use the possibility of criminal consequences to frighten a young person into silence. For advice about a particular situation, contact Youth Law Australia, Legal Aid in your state or territory, or police. This article provides general information and is not legal advice.

If an image has been shared or threatened

A calm first response can protect both safety and trust. Thank the young person for telling you and make clear that abuse is not their fault, even if they originally created or shared an image.

1. Check immediate safety. Ask whether the person knows where the young person lives or studies, has threatened physical harm, is demanding money or more content, or is an adult. Call Triple Zero (000) if anyone is in immediate danger.
2. Do not pay or send more content. If this is sexual extortion, giving the person money or another image does not guarantee that the threats will stop.
3. Preserve safe evidence. Record the platform, account name, profile URL, dates, times, messages and any reports already made. Do not save, forward or screenshot a nude or sexual image of anyone under 18. Ask eSafety, the Australian Centre to Counter Child Exploitation or police what evidence they need.
4. Report through the correct pathway. Image-based abuse can be reported to the eSafety Commissioner. If a person under 18 is being groomed, sexually abused or blackmailed with sexual material, report to the Australian Centre to Counter Child Exploitation. Use the platform’s reporting tools as well.
5. Stop contact safely. After collecting safe evidence and following advice from eSafety or police, mute, block or otherwise stop contact and tighten privacy and security settings.
6. Reduce further sharing. A person who has an image of themselves taken when they were under 18 can use Take It Down to create a digital fingerprint on their device. The image itself is not uploaded. The service works with participating platforms and cannot guarantee removal everywhere.

If an unwanted image arrives, do not forward it or keep a copy. Encourage the young person to tell a trusted adult, record non-image details and use the platform’s report and block functions. Seek advice before deleting material if police are involved because some non-image information may be needed.

Support wellbeing after image-based abuse

Image-based abuse can bring fear, shame, anger, sleep problems, withdrawal or difficulty attending school. Check what the young person needs now, who can be told safely and whether school support is required. Avoid taking over every decision where the young person can participate safely. Restoring choice can be an important part of recovery.

Ask directly and calmly about self-harm or suicidal thoughts if you are concerned. Asking does not put the idea into a young person’s mind. Call Triple Zero (000) for immediate danger. Kids Helpline offers free, confidential counselling for young people aged 5 to 25.

Building safer digital relationships

Prevention is broader than device monitoring. Young people need language and practice for consent, privacy, respectful relationships, bystander action and help-seeking. Monitoring should be proportionate to age, maturity and risk, and discussed openly where possible. Secret surveillance can weaken trust and may miss the social pressure behind the behaviour.

• Keep conversations about bodies, sexuality and online experiences factual and free from sexist or identity-based assumptions.
• Explain that nobody is entitled to an image and that receiving one never creates an obligation to respond.
• Discuss how to support a peer without viewing, saving or circulating the image.
• Review privacy, contact and reporting controls together.
• Identify trusted adults at home, school and elsewhere.
• Revisit the plan when platforms, relationships or risks change.

For wider conversations about bodies, consent and relationships, read our sex education guide for parents. If harm involves peers or repeated online humiliation, our guides to cyberbullying and media literacy provide further support.

When a psychologist may help

Consider professional support when distress persists, the young person withdraws from usual activities, sleep or school participation changes, anxiety or low mood develops, or the family is struggling to communicate after the event. A psychologist can assess wellbeing, support recovery and help the family rebuild communication. Legal investigation, content removal and psychological support have different roles and may be needed at the same time.

Families can book a child and family psychology consultation with Quirky Kid in Sydney or Wollongong. Suitability depends on the young person’s needs and immediate safety.

What to remember

• Respond to the specific situation, not only the label “sexting”.
• Consent to one interaction never means consent to save, alter or share an image.
• Keep the young person’s safety and trust ahead of blame.
• Do not save or forward sexual images of anyone under 18.
• Use eSafety, ACCCE, legal advice and psychological support for their distinct purposes.