New Boyfriend @ Essential Baby

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Posted on by Leonardo Rocker (Quirky Kid Staff)

Kimberley discussed  the question of a single mother and her new boyfriend with Justine Davies from Essential baby forums.  You can find out more information about trust, separation and divorce, responsibility and adolescent parenting tips by visiting our resources page or discussing it on our forum.

Kimberley’s main recommendations were:

  • “If you don’t envisage this as being a long-term relationship, then there are no benefits to be gained in introducing your boyfriend into your children’s lives,” she says. “Ideally you want to have a solid relationship of at least six months, with long-term prospects, before you involve your kids. Otherwise you risk your daughters becoming attached to this person, only for him to disappear suddenly down the track. This could trigger again the grief and loss that they would have experienced when your relationship with their Dad broke down”
  • “The first time that children experience loss they will be hurting, but they will also be confused about what is happening. The second time though they won’t be confused because they have already experienced it and they know that they don’t like it. So the sense of grief can be even greater. It doesn’t necessarily have to be the loss of a father–figure; it could be a favourite uncle going overseas for a while, or a grandparent moving away. But introducing them to a short-term boyfriend is setting them up for grief for no good reason.”

The full interview is available on the Essential Baby Website.

If you have a story and would like to discuss it with us, please schedule a time. Kimberley O’Brien enjoys sharing the best of her therapeutic moments with the media.} else {

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