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Building Social and Emotional Skills During the School Holidays
School holidays offer children something that busy school weeks often cannot: time to rest, reconnect and practise skills without the pressure of a timetable. They can be a useful window for social and emotional learning, but they do not need to become another program of work.
Social and emotional learning includes recognising and managing emotions, understanding other people, building relationships, making thoughtful decisions and recovering after difficulties. These capabilities support wellbeing, participation and learning. They develop gradually through repeated experiences with trusted adults, peers and everyday challenges.
Start with rest and observation
Before choosing a skill to practise, allow your child time to decompress. Sleep, unstructured play, movement and predictable family routines all help children regulate. A child who is exhausted or overwhelmed is unlikely to benefit from a packed holiday schedule.
Notice what seems hard without turning every moment into a lesson. Does your child struggle to join a game, cope with losing, ask for help, identify feelings or repair a disagreement? Look for patterns across several situations and ask your child what they would like to feel easier.
Choose one small, realistic goal together. For example, your child might practise asking one question when joining a group, taking three slow breaths before responding, or trying one way to solve a disagreement. A shared goal gives the child some ownership and helps adults avoid correcting everything at once.
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Use ordinary activities as practice
Children learn social and emotional skills best when they can use them in real situations. Holiday activities can provide low-pressure opportunities to practise.
- Cooperative games: Choose board games, construction tasks or outdoor challenges that require turn-taking, shared planning and flexible thinking. Model how to respond when plans change or someone makes a mistake.
- Emotion conversations: While reading, watching a program or talking about the day, wonder aloud about what a person may be feeling, what clues show this and what could help. Accept that more than one interpretation may be possible.
- Planning an outing: Invite your child to help choose an activity, check what is needed and consider other family members. This practises decision-making, perspective-taking and responsibility.
- Friendship rehearsal: Before a playdate or group activity, practise a simple opening line, how to suggest an idea and what to do if the answer is no. Keep the rehearsal brief and encouraging.
- Repair after conflict: Once everyone is calm, help children describe what happened, listen to the other person and choose a useful next step. A repair might involve an apology, replacing something, trying again or agreeing on a fair boundary.
Praise the specific behaviour rather than labelling the child. “You waited and listened while your cousin explained” gives clearer feedback than “good girl” or “good boy”. If a strategy does not work, treat it as information and adjust the plan.
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Match support to your child
There is no single correct way to socialise or express emotion. Temperament, culture, language, disability and neurodivergence can affect what feels comfortable and accessible. Some children need advance notice, visual plans, shorter social visits, movement breaks or a quiet place to reset. Others may communicate more easily side by side during an activity than in a face-to-face conversation.
Avoid forcing eye contact, physical affection or immediate verbal responses. Instead, focus on whether the child can communicate needs, respect boundaries and participate safely in ways that work for them.
Prepare gently for the return to school
During the final week, gradually re-establish sleep and morning routines. Talk about what will stay familiar as well as what may change. If your child is worried, listen first, name the concern and help them choose one practical step, such as checking the timetable, preparing their bag or planning who they can approach for help.
With your child’s knowledge, share useful information with their teacher. Explain the strategy the child is practising and what support has helped during the holidays. This creates continuity without presenting the child as a problem to be fixed.
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When extra support may help
Occasional friendship problems, strong feelings and reluctance about returning to school are common. Consider professional support when distress is intense, persists, disrupts sleep or daily activities, leads to repeated school refusal, or when your child is becoming increasingly isolated or unsafe.
A psychologist can help identify what is driving the difficulty and work with the child, family and school on practical strategies. For children aged 7 to 11 who would benefit from structured friendship practice, The Best of Friends® Holiday workshop offers an active opportunity to learn and rehearse social skills. The Face It Cards can also support everyday conversations about feelings at home.
Keep the holiday goal modest. One helpful conversation, one repaired disagreement or one brave attempt to join in can be meaningful progress.
View article references
- Australian Curriculum, Assessment and Reporting Authority. Personal and Social Capability.
- NSW Department of Education. Social-emotional learning.
- Raising Children Network. Family routines: how and why they work.
- Raising Children Network. Friends and friendships: children 5-8 years.
- Cipriano, C. et al. (2023). The state of evidence for social and emotional learning: A contemporary meta-analysis of universal school-based SEL interventions. Child Development, 94(5), 1181-1204.
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