Podcast

003: How to Raise a Humble High Achiever with Zac and Lan Mu

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Posted on by Dr. Kimberley O'Brien

Tips to Calm a Toddler in Distress : On-air Consultation/Travelling and Spending More Time with Kids - Seasoned Family Traveller

Welcome to episode 003 of the Impressive Podcast. In this episode, Kimberley talks with Lan Mu and her son, Zach Mu who has won awards for public speaking. How Lan Mu created such a humble and down to earth, yet high achieving young boy in Zach.

Lan will also be sharing the details about the Timor community and how she brought everybody together so that Zach has some great mentorship and family. Enjoy:

  • Time is a luxury many don’t value. Zac and Lu explain how time management is integrated into their lives.
  • Goals that attainable and interesting for a young person
  • Rules and how the reaction differs from a school-aged child to a teenager.

Enjoy the Episode

Recommended resources

Here are the recommended resources to support a 3-year-olds exhibiting Rigid thinking, Sensitivity to change, Issues with emotional regulation and Meltdowns

Keep updated with The Impressive Podcast

Join Dr Kimberley O’Brien on the Impressive Facebook Group to receive news, share your opinion and learn about resources for home and school. You can also Join the Mail List.

About Impressive

Impressive is a weekly podcast that sheds a new light on the world of parenting. Join host, Dr Kimberley O’Brien PhD, as she delves into real-life parenting issues with CEOs, global ex-pats, entrepreneurs, celebrities, travellers and other hand-picked parents.

In an approachable on-air consultation style, she listens to some of the smartest, kindest parents share their latest parenting challenge with their incredible kids. Together they brainstorm solutions and Kimberley offer handy tips and valuable resources to help bring out the best in toddlers, teens and in-betweens. Drawing mostly on two decades of experience as a child psychologist, Kimberley also shares her personal insights as a mother of two and entrepreneur with a passion for problem-solving.

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002: From CEO to Seasoned Family Traveller with Michael Peachy

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Posted on by Dr. Kimberley O'Brien

Tips to Calm a Toddler in Distress : On-air Consultation/Travelling and Spending More Time with Kids - Seasoned Family Traveller

Welcome to the second episode of Impressive. This episode is all about travel and adventure. Kimberley talks with Michael Peachy, the CEO of Seasoned Family Traveller. Listen to how Michael Peachy moved out of the CEO lifestyle into travelling and spending more time with their kids. You can enjoy:

  • How to adjust to travel and family life
  • How to from corporate lifestyle  to following your dreams and make it all work
  • Creating new projects on the go.

Enjoy the Episode

Recommended Resources

Keep updated with The Impressive Podcast

Join Dr Kimberley O’Brien on the Impressive Facebook Group to receive news, share your opinion and learn about resources for home and school. You can also Join the Mail List.

About Impressive

Impressive is a weekly podcast that sheds a new light on the world of parenting. Join host, Dr Kimberley O’Brien PhD, as she delves into real-life parenting issues with CEOs, global ex-pats, entrepreneurs, celebrities, travellers and other hand-picked parents.

In an approachable on-air consultation style, she listens to some of the smartest, kindest parents share their latest parenting challenge with their incredible kids. Together they brainstorm solutions and Kimberley offer handy tips and valuable resources to help bring out the best in toddlers, teens and in-betweens. Drawing mostly on two decades of experience as a child psychologist, Kimberley also shares her personal insights as mother of two and entrepreneur with a passion for problem-solving.

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001: On-Air Consult Meltdown Mode – Tips to calm a toddler in distress

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Posted on by Dr. Kimberley O'Brien

Tips to Calm a Toddler in Distress : On-air Consultation/Travelling and Spending More Time with Kids - Seasoned Family Traveller

Here is the inaugural Impressive Podcast with Dr Kimberley O’Brien. In this on-air consultation, Kimberley discusses  Rigid thinking, Sensitivity to change, Issues with emotional regulation, Meltdowns and toddler development.  Enjoy:

Here are the recommended resources to support a 3-year-olds exhibiting including social stories and visual timetables to introduce more structure.

For parents:

  • https://www.booktopia.com.au/the-highly-sensitive-child-helping-our-children-thrive-when-the-world-overwhelms-them-elaine-n-aron/prod9780007163939.html

For toddlers:

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Podcast: Children and Technology

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Posted on by Leonardo Rocker (Quirky Kid Staff)

Tips to Calm a Toddler in Distress : On-air Consultation/Travelling and Spending More Time with Kids - Seasoned Family Traveller

We have another Podcast to share with you. Dr Kimberley O’Brien discusses the psychological effects of technology with Radio Adelaide’s Ronan Banks.

Quirky Kid has produced a range of creative and engaging Therapeutic Tools.

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[00:00:00 – 00:01:16] Kids nowadays are more exposed to lots of screen time and parents are using this technology to effortlessly help in getting kids preoccupied, however this can result into massive meltdowns.

Reporter: What do you think about the modern day relationship between children and technology?

Dr. Kimberley: I often see kids using – well not often – but like, it’s becoming more regular that you see kids even as young as 2 using like, iPads, either in restaurants or while their mum’s are waiting in line, you know, in the waiting room at our clinics as well.
Kids are getting exposed more and more to screen time obviously and parents are using it as a way to keep the kids preoccupied. And, I think that’s great, except that there are usually some massive meltdowns involved – that I’m sure parents can relate to. As soon as they need to like pack up and go, and take the iPad away, these meltdowns are worse than your average tantrums. Because there is quite an addiction involved, you know, when it comes to the bright light, then in the middle of the game where you have to go through those stages to get to the next level again. So I think for parents, the tantrums can be more stressful because they last longer and are a whole lot louder. My advice would be try to avoid giving screens to kids under the age 5 because we can easily keep them entertained if we give them a book, and then you don’t have the meltdowns afterwards. Or even just a fiddle toy would do. There’re so many other options to avoid screen time that you can also carry in your handbag.

[00:01:17-00:02:37] This technology is damaging to the cognitive and social development of these kids thus giving them limited interest to interact with other kids or adults.

Reporter: In terms of long-term development, is it detrimental to their cognitive and social development?

Dr. Kimberley: I think so. What I see, even in 15 years olds who have been doing a lot of gaming for long periods of time, is that they have really narrow group of friends with narrow interests. So they might have one close friend that they do lots of “gaming” with on the weekends (I’m probably not using the right lingo).
But, if it doesn’t have a screen and they have to go or something, like if it’s someone’s birthday, then it’s just so hard for them to be there. It just feels more boring than it would have if they didn’t have such narrow interests because their social skills have been depleted and they haven’t been practicing on weekends, or having more conversations with people of different ages about different topics, because of their narrow interests.
So we do see fifteen year-olds to want to broaden their interests, but that can be quite a challenge because they have to actually do stuff that they don’t enjoy to start with, the enjoyment will grow when they develop new network of friends and they get more physically be able to run, jump or climb, so that can get back to a normal balanced lifestyle.

[00:02:38 – 00:04:18] Kids these days have serious addiction to technology and it is making them more aggressive.

Reporter: So you think that addiction to technology is real and it’s happening at the moment?

Dr. Kimberley: Yeah, definitely.
I saw a really good documentary but I wasn’t able to find it since I watched it. It was based on a Chinese rehab program for adolescent boys that have screen addictions. These are boys that have been gaming all through the night, have dropped out of school and have been spending like, 22 hours a day on screen. Some of them doing things like peeing in a bucket, wearing adult nappies so they didn’t have to come away from the screen. They serious wanting to be the best in world at whatever they were doing.
In that documentary they were in full withdrawal when they have no access to a screen, and two of them in that period of time, like in that one month program, they broke out and they went straight to an internet cafe and started playing, trying to catch up after being away from it so long.
Yes I do see it as a serious addiction. You want to watch it, because they’re some really lovely kids that we worked with in that middle range, from 10-12 years old. Just lovely kids that are well educated. They have supportive families, but are becoming more aggressive, throwing huge rocks through the sliding glass doors trying to get back inside once mum gives up because of too much screen time on a Saturday morning. Or breaking into a filing cabinet trying to get the laptop, fully busting the lock, doing damage.

[00:04:19 – 00:04:27] Kids who have attachment to technology are showing aggressive behaviours thus causing damage.

Reporter: In terms of behavioural issues, there is obviously the attachment to technology but you are saying there’s aggression as well?

Dr. Kimberley: Yes definitely.

[00:04:28 – 00:05:06] Technology is not the main cause of decreasing attention span of children, there are also other factors to consider.

Reporter: I’ve read a study that the attention spans of children are decreasing because of technology. Do you find that this is true?

Dr. Kimberley: It could be hard to pinpoint that as a cause and effect because there are just kids with short attention spans, with or without technology. But I think teachers are using more technology in the classroom and then, I suppose when they turn the screens off, they have to be, you know – I mean it’s great to watch a YouTube video of something and then to have the teacher try explain every word, but it doesn’t have such an impact. I imagine the kids would become more accustomed to seeing things move and hearing different voices and different scenes. It’s hard to compete with.

[00:05:07 – 00:05:50] There are pros and cons in using technology in teaching. There are games that are educational that can help kids with spelling, reading, and mathematics.

Reporter: Do you think that technology should be used in school for children in reception like iPads and that kind of thing?

Dr. Kimberley: I know some school mums are sometimes annoyed at teachers that are giving little girls, like kindergarten/year 1/year 2, a lot of time on screens because that is something that they have tried to win as off time and only use it on weekends or something like that. And when they drop in to do reading at school and some kids spend the whole hour on screen and they feel that is not teaching. So, I think you get mixed reactions. Or the kids might love doing those educational games there are really some good ones out there that can really help children with spelling words, reading, mathematics. So there are pros and cons.

[00:05:51 – 00:06:30] Technology is beneficial for children but you have to managed the use of it.

Reporter: So do you think overall the increase use in technology is beneficial to children or detrimental?

Dr. Kimberley: If it’s managed, then beneficial, totally. I think it’s a great reward for kids to get all their homework done, and then have some time to do something they really enjoy. And to use it as a reward and use it in limited periods of time so that they don’t develop that addiction. I think they get used to logging off after 5 t0 10 minutes – it not such a big drama, but if it’s been 4 to 5 hours, thats a whole waste of the weekend I think. And it’s not the right parenting in my opinion.
Reporter: Yes, fair enough.

[00:06:31 – 00:06:57] Children in general should only be allowed to have screen time for 1 hour every day.

Reporter: One last question – so how long should children in general be spending on screen everyday?

Dr. Kimberley: Research says maximum of 2 hours but for me that feels like high school age when they have laptops and homework to do online and things like that. So I think two hours for those kids who have to do homework online. But for other ones, maybe two hours on weekends and one hour every day.

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Podcast: How to Help Children Cope with Bad News

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Posted on by Leonardo Rocker (Quirky Kid Staff)

Tips to Calm a Toddler in Distress : On-air Consultation/Travelling and Spending More Time with Kids - Seasoned Family Traveller

We’d love to share our latest podcast recorded by Dr Kimberley O’Brien for a local magazine with you. This weeks topic is helping children cope with bad news.

Quirky Kid has produced a full range of creative and engaging Therapeutic Tools.


 

[00:00:00-00:00:32] Dr. Kimberley O’Brien introduces strategies for parents to help kids cope with traumatic news.

Hello Bonnie. It’s Dr. Kimberley O’Brien here. I’m auto-recording in Japan, so I hope there won’t be any background distractions. I’ll talk for five minutes on strategies to help kids cope when they’ve seen a tragedy, or had some sort of unfortunate event. I’ll have some tips for parents as well – I’ll fill you in on that towards the end of the interview.


 

[00:00:33-00:02:27] Parents shouldn’t shield children from all forms of adversity. Instead, teach them coping strategies for stressful events, since those are an inevitable part of life. 

The first thing you said was about helping kids to deal constructively with bad news, rather than sweeping it under the carpet. I agree that it’s a healthier approach, because it’s really setting them up for life. It’s giving them the skills to overcome adversity, without feeling like a parent is required to shield them from something that’s not appropriate for kids to hear.

From a young age kids are learning how to overcome physical injuries. Like toddlers grazing knees – they hop up and brush themselves off, and then life goes on. They can cope with those sorts of little incidents. And if we do shield the kids from all adversity, then they don’t learn the coping skills they need in certain situations, like if they are not good enough for a sports team, or if they’re excluded from a game at school. Teaching them coping skills is like teaching them life skills that help them to be more resilient. And it gives them confidence to be able to overcome issues moving forward. That’s part of healthy psychological development.

Imagine adults that haven’t learned to overcome adversity. They’re more likely to react negatively, perhaps need a lot more support, and need to take time off work if they haven’t learnt to cope with life’s issues that will come our way. That’s just part of life, isn’t it? Kids will have to change schools, or they may lose a pet or loved one. That stress is a part of living, so it’s something that kids need to learn to cope with.


 

[00:02:27-00:04:08] Encourage children to express their feelings in words, rather than through actions. Praise them for expressing themselves clearly, and empathise with them verbally. When something bad happens, let kids write down questions in a booklet, so you can answer those questions when you feel prepared to remain calm during the discussion. It’s a way to model good coping skills. 

The best way to do this, for parents, is to prepare for question time if it’s something that’s happened for a young person, like the loss of a pet. Have a question booklet that kids can record some questions in. And then make sure you feel prepared emotionally to answer each one of those questions. When I say prepared emotionally, I mean that children often take their cues from their parents. If parents are very emotional, kids will often follow suit and become quite emotional. So being prepared to model good coping skills as a parent is important. Say “these things happen but we will get through it”. Use words to explain those feelings.

Sometimes kids will use actions or behaviour to express their emotions. For example, they may feel disappointed, or upset that they didn’t make the sports team, and they may throw their sports bag across the room. But what we want kids to do is to use their words, and say “I feel so disappointed, I’m so jealous that my best friend was selected and I wasn’t”. Parents should then use verbal praise to say “I’m so glad to hear you express yourself so clearly, now I understand how you feel”. Parents can empathise with young people: “I’ve felt that way before, this must be hard”. Empathising is also part of helping kids to express their feelings in words, rather than in actions.


 

[00:04:08-00:05:01] When it comes to family trauma, such as a separation or a tragedy, it’s better to get professional help because they can remain objective and provide the family with support.   

Just a final point now, for parents on how to help kids through family separation. It’s good to encourage them to see a psychologist, such as someone at the Quirky Kid Clinic or a school counselor, to help them normalize those feelings. Often if parents are involved in situations, like if there’s been a tragedy or trauma within the family, it’s better to get professional help. A professional can remain objective and provide kids and parents with stats on how often these things occur, how long it may take kids to recover, and what the phases of grief and loss may be. It’s good to have an expert when dealing with family separation or similar situations.


 

[00:05:01-00:05:58] When a tragedy happens, stick to the basic facts when relaying the news to the child. Avoid delving into the causes, or exposing them to distressing images, to avoid more of an emotional response. 

And finally, a tip about how to relay the news to a child. Say it was something that happened in the world, like a tsunami. We often get rising referrals when there’s been a trauma, like a tsunami, and kids have seen it on TV. It’s best to switch off the news when there’s lots of visual, distressing images for kids to catch. Parents have more control when they’re giving the news to the young person. Stick with the facts: what happened, how it happened, when it happened. Avoid going into the whys, because that’s often going to trigger more of an emotional response.


 

[00:05:58-00:06:50] Apart from verbally expressing themselves, it can also be useful for kids to use art or visual props to talk about how they felt before, during, and after an incident. 

I’m going to wrap up now. To help kids deal and process emotions, help them to use their words to understand those feelings, or to seek help from a professional. Sometimes kids will express their feelings using art, so give them an opportunity to draw what happened. Or, they can select images, such as from our “Face It” cards, which are feelings cards with a whole bunch of different facial expressions. Children can use them to talk about what they felt before, during, and after an incident. Visual props can be very helpful.

Bonnie, it’s been a pleasure to answer your questions today, and I look forward to talking to you again in the future. I’m Dr. Kimberley O’Brien from the Quirky Kid Clinic. That’s www.quirkykid.com.au. And keep in touch. Thank you.