You can read the article by visiting the SMH online. You can find useful, practical and informative advice about parenting and young people by visiting our resources page, – or discussing it on our forum.

If you have a story and would like to discuss it with us, please contact us to schedule a time.

Kimberley O’Brien enjoys sharing the best of her therapeutic moments with the media. View our media appearances to-date.

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Parents often assist children by sitting down to help with homework, sometimes checking for mistakes, and occasionally completing entire projects.

Some research shows that helping with homework can be beneficial for children’s performance at school. However, other studies show different  results about helping children with homework.

The Quirky Kid clinic  suggests that the difference between parental involvement being beneficial or not is dependent on the type and the amount of involvement.

By constantly cutting in on the job your kids are doing, you may risk undermining their confidence. This may make them feel inadequate when it comes to completing tasks on time or may inhibit them from developing the knowledge and skills to do it themselves.

Tips to assist your children with homework.

• It is best to establish a routine for homework at the beginning of the year. Decide with your child when and where homework should be completed. Creating a homework schedule together is a great way to discuss this, and put down in writing what you agree on.
• You can make homework something children will look forward to by making it special one-on-one time with  you. But remember to let children keep most control of it – make sure the pencil is in their hand, not yours.
• To help children focus at homework time, set some boundaries, ensure they have a clear work space, and establish some goals, such as a time limit. Additionally, by placing a clock near their work space children will be able to monitor their own time.
• Provide your children some wind down time after school. Allowing them to play for a while and have a healthy snack, will help them to concentrate when they start their homework.
• Many schools have implemented a homework policy. If you think your child is receiving too much homework, or it is too difficult, get in contact with the school to discuss your concerns.

Most importantly, by allowing children to complete homework themselves, they will have greater sense of achievement. Additionally, providing parents with a legitimate reason to pile on the praise. Remember to always praise effort rather than intelligence.

Need more help?

1. The Quirky Kid Clinic provides private consultations and a range of resources to assist with homework challenges and performance. Please contact us to make an appointment or visit our resources page.
2. You should also check a great book for sale at the Quirky Kid online Shoppe – How to do your Homework without throwing up – check it out.

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Information for this fact sheet was taken from an interview with Child Psychologist Kimberley O’Brien, and the following article.

Hoover-Dempsey, K.V., Battiato, A.C., Walker, J.M., Reed, R.P., DeJong, J.M., and Jones, K.P. (2001) Parental Involvement in homework. Educational Psychologist, 36, 3, 195-209

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Kimberley O’Brien, our principal child psychologist, discussed the busy schedules of today’s children with Catholic Education Office reporter, Kathryn Barton. You can find useful, practical and informative advice about parenting by visiting our resources page, – or discussing it on our forum.

This article and  Kathryn also won two Highly Commended awards in the ‘Best Mission Coverage’ category for her report on Marist North Shore’s Cambodian immersion and ‘Best Feature’ category for ‘Families in the Fast Lane‘ (September 2010). during the ACPA awards see: http://www.ceosyd.catholic.edu.au/News/Pages/AboutCatholicSchoolsWins.aspx

To view the full article please visit the Catholic Education Office website.

If you have a story and would like to discuss it with us, please contact us to schedule a time. Kimberley O’Brien enjoys sharing the best of her therapeutic moments with the media. View our media appearances to-date.

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It is called a spectrum disorder as each child may be affected in a different way. The severity of the disorder can range from mild to severe, and includes Autism, Asperger’s syndrome and Pervasive Developmental Disorder – Not otherwise Specified.

Repetitive behaviours are a core component of the diagnosis of autism, and they form an important part of early identification.

Typical Development of Repetitive Behaviours

• Infants – often demonstrate repetitive behaviours including kicking, waving, banging, twirling, bouncing and rocking. These behaviours however, reduce after 12 months.
• 24 – 36 months – compulsive like behaviours including preference for sameness begin to emerge.
• 4 years – decrease in all repetitive behaviours. By the time a child reaches school age there are usually relatively few repetitive behaviours to be seen.

Repetitive Behaviours in a child diagnosed with an ASD

The amount and frequency of repetitive behaviours seen in a child diagnosed with an ASD is significantly higher than that seen in children without an ASD diagnosis. There are also differences in the types of repetitive behaviour demonstrated in autism and typical development.
Young children with autism are more likely to engage in

• body rocking,
• finger flicking,
• hand flapping,
• mouthing,
• unusual posturing.

Recent studies have shown that a combination of therapies that aim to increase receptive language and improve social skills, can reduce the occurrence of repetitive behaviours.

Need more information?

• Please contact the Quirky Kid Clinic for further information on ASD’s and Repetitive Behaviours.
• You can also view our early intervention services or
• Discuss ASD’s with other parents at the Quirky Kid Huddle – our parenting forums.

Quirky Kid is registered to provide services under the Helping Children with Austins – FaCHSIA.

—-

Information for this fact sheet was taken from an interview with Child Psychologist Kimberley O’Brien, the Repetitive Behaviours in Autism Spectrum Disorder Workshop attended by Corina Vogler, Provisional Psychologist  and the following articles:

Honey, E., McConachie, H., Randle, Val., Shearer, H., & Le Couteur, A. S. (2008). One-year Change in Repetitive Behaviours in Young Children with Communication Disorders Including Autism. Journal Autism and Developmental Disorders, 38, 1439–1450.

Honey, E., Leekham, S., & McConachie, H.. (2007). Repetitive Behaviours and Play in Typically Developing Children and Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder. Journal Autism and Developmental Disorders, 37, 1107–1115.

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Parents will learn how to develop an optimistic, fair and consistent parenting approach with an emphasis on praise. Learn to identify family factors in need of focus and develop reasonable rules and considered consequences in this very practical workshop.Participants will be encouraged to reflect on the challenges of parenthood and to explore their parenting style from their child’s point of view. Current research in the field of positive parent-child relationships will be reviewed, combined with activities designed for participants to experience the effective use and over-use of praise.

Kimberley O’Brien, Principal Child Psychologist at Quirky Kid, will facilitate the workshop with the support of Corina Vogler, Provisional Psychologist at Quirky Kid

Raised on Praise is also offered in the clinical setting. Visit our workshop page to find out the next date. If you would like to arrange a workshop for parents or students at your school, please contact us on 02 9362 9297.

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Image from the 'Just Like When Cards' by Quirky Kid

Fighting between siblings, or sibling rivalry,  is a common concern among parents. A certain amount of arguing between children in families is normal, and is one of the ways that children learn the importance of sorting out problems independently, respecting people’s feelings and belongings. Additionally, learning how to fight fairly without hurting each other, within the home environment, may assist children in their ability to sort out issues in future relationships.

A degree of sibling rivalry is normal as learning to live together can be difficult when dealing with the different ages, needs and personalities involved. As children reach different stages of development, their evolving needs can significantly impact on the way they interact and relate with each other.

What are the Common Causes of Sibling Rivalry?

Jealousy and competition are the main causes for sibling rivalry and fighting.

A child may feel that their sibling is receiving more love or attention from a parent, and in response may try to ‘take it out’ on their sibling. Rates of sibling rivalry are lower in families where children feel they are treated equally by their parents.

Other factors that may influence how often sibling rivalry occurs include:

• Gender and age – sibling rivalry is most likely to occur when the children are of the same gender and close together in age.
• Toddlers – tend to be possessive of their toys and are learning to assert their will. If a brother or sister attempts to pick up one of their toys, the toddler may react aggressively. This often contributes to sibling rivalry among toddlers.
• School-aged children – have a strong concept of fairness and equality and may not understand why a younger sibling is receiving additional attention.
• Teenagers – are developing a sense of individuality and independence and may resent having to spend time looking after younger siblings or helping with house work contributing to sibling rivalry.
• Individual personalities and temperaments – For instance, if one child tends to cling and be drawn to parents for their love and affection, this can be resented by siblings who don’t seek out or don’t receive the same treatment by their parents.
• Sibling with special needs – a child may pick up on the amount of time and energy their sibling receives, and act out on this disparity for attention due to lack of understanding of the situation.
• Examples parents set - the way in which parents resolve conflicts and problems has a significant impact on the way that children interact and resolve their own conflicts. For instance, when parents resolve their issues in a respectful and productive manner, the likelihood that the children of such parents will adopt these techniques is increased. As a parent it is important to manage sibling rivalry.

What can parents do to prevent sibling rivalry?

• Spend special time with each child on a regular basis to avoid sibling rivalry.
• Together, set ground rules for acceptable behaviour, such as no name calling, no yelling or hitting.
• Provide children with their own space and time to do their own thing. For example to play with toys by themselves or to own something special that they don’t have to share. This will help to reduce sibling rivalry.
• Try not to compare children with each other.
• Be generous with affection.
• Have fun together as a family. This will establish a peaceful way for children to spend time together. Playing board games, throwing a ball or watching a movie together are some good ways to do this.

If parents have to get involved….

• Separate kids until they are calm. This will stop the fight from escalating and will provide an opportunity for emotions to die down. Later the fight can be revisited as a learning experience.
• Parents should be aware of their own feelings, and to remain fair, even when feeling more frustration towards one child.
• Try not to take sides, anyone who is involved is partly responsible.
• Set up a “win-win” situation so that each child gains something. For example, if both children wanted to play with the same toy, suggest playing a game together.
• Reminding children of the ground rules  will reduce sibling rivalry.
• Help them listen to each other’s feelings. If required, assist them to work out ways to solve the problem and reduce sibling rivalry.

When possible don’t get involved in the fight. As children learn to cope with disputes, they learn important skills, such as valuing another person’s perspective, how to compromise and negotiate and how to control aggressive impulses.

However, if it is evident that a child is feeling upset, help them find ways to express their feelings before a fight starts. Such as playing with playdough or water for younger children or going for a run or listening to music for older children.

Sometimes, the sibling rivalry becomes so severe that it disrupts daily functioning and can significantly affect children emotionally.

How can the Quirky Kid Clinic help?

There are many ways we can help you to manage sibling rivalry. If you believe your family would benefit from some assistance with sibling rivalry, please contact the Quirky Kid Clinic on (02) 9362 9297 to discuss the following options:

• Individual counselling and therapy with one of our experienced Child Psychologists.
• Family counselling with one of our experienced Child Psychologists.
• “Raised on Praise” workshops for parents.
• The Just Like When Cards are a great tool to help kids explore sibling rivalry.
• Use positive reinforcement. Always praise your child’s good behaviour and use resources like the Tickets – a Tool to tame Behaviour by Quirky Kid

Recommended Resources:

—–
References:

This post was developed by Corina Vogler, Provisional Psychologist, employed by the Quirky Kid Clinic.

Information for this fact sheet was taken from Kimberley O’Brien, Child Psychologist, kidshealth.org, and the Raising Children Network.

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Furthermore, parents also may also  feel as though they have done something wrong, that their way of parenting was inappropriate or that they have failed in some way.  Some feel embarrassed about other people finding out, or worried about how others will react.

On the other hand, parents may feel joy, proud and contentment with  the good communication with the family.

Below are answers to common questions we are asked about  parenting gay children:

Why did my child choose to be gay?

• Being gay is not a simply a choice. Sexual orientation comes from within a person, and is part of a person’s whole being. It is not caused by anything parents have done, and can’t be changed by anything parents do. The choice your child has made to come out means that he is ready to accept who he is and live happily.

Is it a phase?

• It is a normal part of development for a child or teenager to feel unsure about their sexuality. However, if your child tells you he or she is gay, then he or she  is usually sure that is how he or  she is. When they  tell you ‘I am sure’, they  need you to believe and support them.

Why didn’t our child tell us earlier?

• For a child to tell his parent that he is gay takes great courage. He may feel worried about hurting you or feeling guilty about you losing some of your dreams, such as natural grandchildren. The main reason young people withhold this information for so long is  fear of rejection by parents, or other family and friends. The longer it takes to come out, the more this fear grows.

Is my child different now?

• Your child has not changed just because she has told you about her sexuality. There are many parts to your child that you know and love that have not changed, such as what she does, what she likes, and the many things that make up the person that she is.

Coming to terms with these changes

• Whatever your response is, you will be grieving in some way because every change involves some loss (as well as some gain).

• You might find it helpful to talk it over with people who understand what you are going through.

• Coming to grips with this information and accepting it takes time and there are no hard and fast rules as to how long it will take. It is different for everyone and there is no one right way.

The number one thing is to make sure that your kids are safe and accepted no matter what they do – it’s that unconditional love that they need.  Try not to become too attached to the future in terms of the fulfilment of your own hopes and dreams.  Be supportive of the individual choices your children make, and just see what happens.

The Quirky Kid Clinic can help parents and families with communication strategies as well as dealing with common issues that may  arise when a family member communicates his sexuality.   For more information, book to our ‘Sort it out’ workshop or please contact us for more information or to schedule an appointment.

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