Quirky Kid Clinic » Counselling

Bullying

Leonardo Rocker — Sat, 08 May 2010 09:55:22 +0000

Bullying occurs when someone or a group of people cause psychological or physical harm to another person, or damage their property, reputation or social acceptance, on more than one occasion. Bullying can take on many forms. Direct bullying involves physical aggression and verbal attacks. Indirect bullying is more subtle and can include actions such as exclusion and ignoring, spreading rumours, embarrassing and humiliating others.

Bullying has also been reported to occur in internet chat rooms, and via email and text messaging – cyber-bullying. Children who are bullied experience real suffering which can affect their social, emotional and educational development.

New Anti-Harassment Laws will give legal protection for young people tormented by Bullying. The new legislations means young people under the age of 16 will be able to use sexual harassment laws to protect themselves.

How can I tell if my child is being bullied?

Does your child find excuses for not going to school, e.g. being sick?
Is your child tense, tearful and/or unhappy before or after school?
Does your child have unexplained bruises or scratches?
Is your child showing difficulties sleeping such as nightmares or bedwetting?
Does your child talk about not liking school or other children at school?
Have you noticed your child’s standard of school work declining?
Have you noticed a change in the usual behaviour pattern of your child?
Does your child have a lack of friends at school?

How can I tell if my child is bullying others?

Does your child talk about his/her peers in a negative or aggressive way?
Does your child have money, toys or other items that do not belong to him/her?
Does your child have difficulties getting along easily with others?
Is your child involved in a peer group that supports bullying behaviour?

What can I do if I am or someone I know being bullied?

There are many things you can do to deal with bullying and this includes trying to deal with it yourself, like ignoring the bully, hanging out with friends, and being confident.
If bullying does not stop, you should seek help. Talk to a friend, a family member, teacher or psychologist. Talking to someone will help you feel better.
Find out about your school anti-bullying policy. Not dough this has happened to many other people before and there will be a standard approach to addressed.
If bullying happens outside school – it can be useful to ask any witnesses to support you as you approach authority figures like bus drivers, police or similar.
It is important to deal with bullying immediately to reduce the likelihood of it reoccurring over a longer period of time.

How can the Quirky Kid Clinic help my child?

If you suspect your child may be experiencing bullying, or bullying others, please contact the Quirky Kid Clinic on (02) 9362 9297 to discuss the following options:

Individual counselling and therapy with one of our experienced Child Psychologists
“The Best of friends” and “Self Esteem” workshops for individuals and class groups
School-based intervention and support

Child Counselling @ ABC Radio

Leonardo Rocker — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 02:26:41 +0000

Kimberley O’Brien, our principal child psychologist, discussed child counselling with the ABC South East Radio Morning show presenter. You can find more information on how counselling may benefit your child by visiting our resources page or discussing it on our forum.

If you have a story and would like to discuss it with us, please contact us to schedule a time. Kimberley O’Brien enjoys sharing the best of her therapeutic moments with the media. View our media appearances to-date.

Cyberbullying

Leonardo Rocker — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 08:53:45 +0000

What is Cyberbullying?

Cyberbullying refers to bullying that occurs through information and communication technology such as phone calls, text messages, emails, Internet chat rooms, instant messaging and social networking sites such as MySpace and Facebook. Cyberbullying activities include leaving insulting or offensive messages on social networking sites, spreading rumors online, sending unwanted emails, text messages or instant messages, and much more. Cyberbullying is particularly concerning as it can happen anywhere and at any time, and so there is no safe haven from the bullying behaviour. This type of bullying can cause great distress, and have a negative impact on a child’s self esteem and self confidence.

Signs to help parents recognise cyberbullying

The secretive and hidden nature of cyberbullying can make it difficult for parents to detect when it is occurring. Some children also feel ashamed when they are a victim of bullying, or may feel afraid to tell others as they believe it may make the situation worse. For this reason, parents need to look at changes in their child’s behaviour, which could give a clue that they may be being bullied. These signs may include:

Sudden aversion to socialising with friends
Disinterest or avoidance of school
Dropping out of sports or other recreational activities
Extreme sleeping behaviour (either lots more or lots less)
Abnormal nail biting or other minor or severe self harming behaviours
Abnormal changes in mood and/or behaviour

Things parents can do

The powerful impact of feeling scared, powerless, helpless, ashamed and other emotions that can result from being cyber bullied, particularly when occurring over a long period, has the capacity for long-lasting effects on children.

Ways that you can protect a child from any long-lasting negative impacts of cyber bullying include:

Take lots of time to hear, listen and understand your child’s story
Discuss cyber bullying with the child and encourage them to tell you if they’re feeling bullied
Be alert to any abnormal behaviour / mood changes
Stay calm while your child is telling you his/her story, and be aware of your own reactions.
Take complaints from the child seriously, do not brush them off
Try to ascertain what ‘meaning’ the child takes from the bullying, for example whether they believe what the bully says about them
Assure the child that it is not their fault.

Strategies for young people to deal with cyberbullying

Tell someone – The most important step is for the child or young person to talk to someone they trust about what is happening. This may be a parent, friend, teacher or counsellor.
Don’t reply to bullying messages – This may make the situation worse. By replying, the bully gets what he or she wants. Often, if the child does not reply, the bully will get bored and leave them alone.
Block the cyberbully – Depending on the way that the bully is communicating with the young person, it may be possible to block their messages or texts. If your child is not sure how, your phone or internet service provider can help you.
Report the problem – Your child’s school may have policies about cyberbullying and can take action against it. Your ISP or phone provider may also be able to help. Websites like Facebook and MySpace have links where you can report abuse.
Keep the evidence – Keeping copies of texts, emails, online conversations or voicemails as evidence can be useful if it comes to tracking the bully down.
Change your contact details – Get a new user name for the internet, a new email account, a new mobile phone number and only give them out to your closest friends.
Keep your username and passwords secret – Keep your personal information private so it doesn’t fall into the hands of someone who’ll misuse it.
If messages are threatening or serious, get in touch with the police – Cyberbullying, if it’s threatening, is illegal and the police may be able to take action.

_____

Information from this article was taken from beyondblue.com.au, parentline.com.au and advice from Kimberley O’Brien Child Psychologist.

Working with Abusive Families

Leonardo Rocker — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 04:28:44 +0000

Kimberley O’Brien and Jacqui Olsson attended a seminar on Assessment and Treatment of Abusive families on Tuesday, 16^th November 2009. The seminar was presented by Dr Chris Lennings, an expert who has been working in this field for over 30 years.

Topics covered in the seminar included an examination of the victims of abuse, the effects abuse has on the family, how to assess abuse, and providing treatment for both victims and perpetrators.

Kimberley O’Brien has extensive experience in this area, and is available as an expert witness. Please contact us if you would like more information.

Generalised Anxiety Disorder

Leonardo Rocker — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 10:31:57 +0000

Children with Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD) experience high levels of anxiety and worry about a number of events or activities, and find it difficult to control these worries. They may worry about as punctuality, school performance or catastrophic events such as earthquakes. The intensity, duration or frequency of the child’s worries is far out of proportion to the actual likelihood of what they fear. In addition to their worries, these children often experience restlessness, difficulty concentrating, irritability, muscle tension and disturbed sleep. Children with GAD typically seek approval excessively and require constant reassurance about their performance and their other worries.

What should I look for?

Does your child have excessive anxiety or worry about a number of events or activities?
Does your child find it difficult to control their worries?
Does your child appear restless or ‘on edge’?
Is your child easily fatigued?
Does your child have difficulty concentrating?
Does your child appear irritable?
Does your child appear tense?
Does your child have difficulty falling or staying asleep?
Does your child have restless and unsatisfying sleep?

How can the Quirky Kid Clinic help your child?

The Quirky Kid Clinic is a unique place for children and adolescents aged 2-18 years. We work from the child’s perspective to help them find their own solutions. If you suspect your child may be experiencing symptoms of Generalised Anxiety Disorder you might consider one of the following options:

Book an individual session with our experienced Child Psychologists
Register for the “Why Worry?” workshop or
Contact us for more information

Reference:

American Psychiatric Association:Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, Text Revision. Washington, DC, American Psychiatric Association, 2000.

Tweens

Leonardo Rocker — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 11:06:39 +0000

What is a tween?

Tween is the term used to refer to people between the ages of 10-14 years of age. It refers to a stage of development where people are no longer children, yet not quite teenagers. Many changes often occur at this stage, which may be a source of struggle between parents and their children, particularly in relation to social skills.

Issues that parents may encounter with their tween:

Dating
Clothing
Friends
Drugs/Alcohol
Social skills

When such issues do arise, it is not uncommon for tweens to rebel in an attempt to resist their parents’ wishes. Parents can help their tweens progress through this often confusing and difficult stage, by both appreciating and accepting their child for who they are. Moreover, while tweens may not want to discuss the issues they are experiencing with their parents; parents should encourage conversation by remaining both open minded and available.

Complimenting and praising your tween:

While it may have once been easy to praise your child for their accomplishments, tweens often look for realistic compliments that match the way they are behaving.
Excessive or just general praise is often seen as meaningless to tweens, as they typically become more cynical at this age, and prefer to receive realistic assessments of their achievements. This may in part be due to the fact that hormonal changes are occurring, causing tweens to become easily annoyed or more sensitive.
To most effectively encourage your tween, make sure to explicitly praise specific behaviors as well as the processes, which led to a desired behavior.

If you need further support, we offer consultations and workshops for tween and parents. Contact us for more information.

Divorce and Children @ Sunrise

Leonardo Rocker — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 08:33:36 +0000

Kimberley discussed the impact of divorce on children with presenters of from the Sunrise on Channel 7. You can find out more about the problems associated with separation and divorce and strategies to better deal with it by visiting our resources page or discussing it on our forum.

The full interview is available below:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhzdJ-Yb1qU

If you have a story and would like to discuss it with us, please schedule a time. Kimberley O’Brien enjoys sharing the best of her therapeutic moments
with the media.

Toddler Behaviour @ Today Show

Leonardo Rocker — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 17:32:18 +0000

www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHi1sy-eLbA

Child Therapy @ Today Show

Leonardo Rocker — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 13:15:11 +0000

Kimberley discussed the Quirky Kid’s therapeutic workshops with reporters at The Today Show.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FKyqYe7XWU

Divorce Workshops @ ABC Brisbane

Leonardo Rocker — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 03:59:49 +0000

Kimberley discussed the Quirky Kid divorce workshop for kids, Doing The Splits, with reporters at ABC Radio Brisbane. You can find out more about coping with divorce and fostering social skills, by visiting our resources page or discussing it on our forum.

The full interview is available on the ABC Radio Brisbane website.

If you have a story and would like to discuss it with us, please schedule a time. Kimberley O’Brien enjoys sharing the best of her therapeutic moments with the media.