Cyberbullying refers to bullying that occurs through information and communication technology such as phone calls, text messages, emails, Internet chat rooms, instant messaging and social networking sites such as MySpace and Facebook. Cyberbullying activities include leaving insulting or offensive messages on social networking sites, spreading rumors online, sending unwanted emails, text messages or instant messages, and much more. Cyberbullying is particularly concerning as it can happen anywhere and at any time, and so there is no safe haven from the bullying behaviour. This type of bullying can cause great distress, and have a negative impact on a child’s self esteem and self confidence.

Signs to help parents recognise cyberbullying

The secretive and hidden nature of cyberbullying can make it difficult for parents to detect when it is occurring. Some children also feel ashamed when they are a victim of bullying, or may feel afraid to tell others as they believe it may make the situation worse. For this reason, parents need to look at changes in their child’s behaviour, which could give a clue that they may be being bullied. These signs may include:

• Sudden aversion to socialising with friends
• Disinterest or avoidance of school
• Dropping out of sports or other recreational activities
• Extreme sleeping behaviour (either lots more or lots less)
• Abnormal nail biting or other minor or severe self harming behaviours
• Abnormal changes in mood and/or behaviour

Things parents can do

The powerful impact of feeling scared, powerless, helpless, ashamed and other emotions that can result from being cyber bullied, particularly when occurring over a long period, has the capacity for long-lasting effects on children.

Ways that you can protect a child from any long-lasting negative impacts of cyber bullying include:

• Take lots of time to hear, listen and understand your child’s story
• Discuss cyber bullying with the child and encourage them to tell you if they’re feeling bullied
• Be alert to any abnormal behaviour / mood changes
• Stay calm while your child is telling you his/her story, and be aware of your own reactions.
• Take complaints from the child seriously, do not brush them off
• Try to ascertain what ‘meaning’ the child takes from the bullying, for example whether they believe what the bully says about them
• Assure the child that it is not their fault.

Strategies for young people to deal with cyberbullying

• Tell someone – The most important step is for the child or young person to talk to someone they trust about what is happening. This may be a parent, friend, teacher or counsellor.
• Don’t reply to bullying messages – This may make the situation worse.  By replying, the bully gets what he or she wants. Often, if the child does not reply, the bully will get bored and leave them alone.
• Block the cyberbully – Depending on the way that the bully is communicating with the young person, it may be possible to block their messages or texts. If your child is not sure how, your phone or internet service provider can help you.
• Report the problem – Your child’s school may have policies about cyberbullying and can take action against it. Your ISP or phone provider may also be able to help. Websites like Facebook and MySpace have links where you can report abuse.
• Keep the evidence – Keeping copies of texts, emails, online conversations or voicemails as evidence can be useful if it comes to tracking the bully down.
• Change your contact details – Get a new user name for the internet, a new email account, a new mobile phone number and only give them out to your closest friends.
• Keep your username and passwords secret – Keep your personal information private so it doesn’t fall into the hands of someone who’ll misuse it.
• If messages are threatening or serious, get in touch with the police – Cyberbullying, if it’s threatening, is illegal and the police may be able to take action.

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Information from this article was taken from beyondblue.com.au, parentline.com.au and advice from Kimberley O’Brien Child Psychologist.

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Bullying has also been reported to occur in internet chat rooms, and via email and text messaging – cyber-bullying. Children who are bullied experience real suffering which can affect their social, emotional and educational development.

New Anti-Harassment Laws will give legal protection for young people tormented by Bullying. The new legislations means young people under the age of 16 will be able to use sexual harassment laws to protect themselves.

How can I tell if my child is being bullied?

• Does your child find excuses for not going to school, e.g. being sick?
• Is your child tense, tearful and/or unhappy before or after school?
• Does your child have unexplained bruises or scratches?
• Is your child showing difficulties sleeping such as nightmares or bedwetting?
• Does your child talk about not liking school or other children at school?
• Have you noticed your child’s standard of school work declining?
• Have you noticed a change in the usual behaviour pattern of your child?
• Does your child have a lack of friends at school?

How can I tell if my child is bullying others?

• Does your child talk about his/her peers in a negative or aggressive way?
• Does your child have money, toys or other items that do not belong to him/her?
• Does your child have difficulties getting along easily with others?
• Is your child involved in a peer group that supports bullying behaviour?

What can I do if I am or someone I know being bullied?

• There are many things you can do to deal with bullying and this includes trying to deal with it yourself, like ignoring the bully, hanging out with friends, and being confident.
• If bullying does not stop, you should seek help. Talk to a friend, a family member, teacher  or psychologist. Talking to someone will help you feel better.
• Find out about your school anti-bullying policy. Not dough this has happened to many other people before and there will be a standard approach to addressed.
• If bullying happens outside school – it can be useful to ask any witnesses to support you as you approach authority figures like bus drivers, police or similar.
• It is important to deal with bullying immediately to reduce the likelihood of it reoccurring over a longer period of time.

How can the Quirky Kid Clinic help my child?

If you suspect your child may be experiencing bullying, or bullying others, please contact the Quirky Kid Clinic on (02) 9362 9297 to discuss the following options:

• Individual counselling and therapy with one of our experienced Child Psychologists
• “The Best of friends” and “Self Esteem” workshops for individuals and class groups
• School-based intervention and support

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The Likes of You{th} is a  Tool to Boost Social and Emotional Well–being for Adolescent Boys.

The Likes of You{th} Kit is a set of 12 Picture Cards, 24 Questions Cards and a User Manual written by Child Psychologist, Kimberley O’Brien. The LoY Kit has been developed to help boys (10–16 years) through the often turbulent transition to young adulthood. With an emphasis on self-awareness and coping strategies. The Likes of You{th} Kit empowers young boys to improve their social and emotional well-being through collaborative activities and discussion.

Covering themes such as Authority and Rebellion, Motivation and Depression, Confidence and  participation, Freedom and Escape, Study stress and conflict, Girls, rumours and sexuality, Screen Addiction and boredom, Companionship and loyalty, Independence and Identity, Pa rents and Responsibility, Self esteem and style, Gangs and aggression this resources is perfect to complement the practice of those working with young people.

>> Download a Flyer or Buy Now

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The highest you ever climbed! – The furthest you ever swam! – The fastest you ever ran! -

Children love stories, especially true stories describing adventure and emotional extremes. Often they will ask to hear our stories but how often do they get to tell theirs?

The TMAS cards invite young people to recall and retell their own memorable moments of extremity (Luckiest! Loneliest! Bravest!), as they rediscover a sense of pride in their own achievements. The story topics have been carefully chosen to appeal to young storytellers, with the capacity to engage listeners of all ages.

The TMAS cards are a useful tool for parents and professionals working with young people to facilitate communication, highlight strengths, give praise and boost self-esteem.

The TMAS collection is designed for young people and adults, (aged 6 years and above). We all have stories to tell and the TMAS cards provide a forum for all people to share their experiences, children and adults alike. The cards have been tried and tested with individuals and small groups, throughout a number of different contexts.

>> Download a Flyer or  Buy Now!

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The FACE IT collection always makes an impression! This set of thirty-five (35) hand-drawn cards, depicting a wide range of facial expressions, are designed to engage children and adults from diverse social and cultural backgrounds as well as those on the Autism spectrum or with other special needs.

Parents, teachers and therapists will find the FACE IT cards are an exceptional resource to increase communication in the home, school, clinic or community setting.

Effectively used with both individuals and groups, the FACE IT cards allow participants the option of ‘pointing out’ their emotions to increase understanding, problem-solving and empathy when dialogue is difficult.

We hope you enjoy using them as much as we do!

Buy the Face It at the Quirky Kid Shoppe

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This Material was possible due the generosity of UTSpeaks

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FKyqYe7XWU

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